Quickies

@rondetto Said

Father in a conversation with a neighbour...
First son: Degree in Economics
Second son: MBA
Third son: PhD
Fourth son: Thief
Neighbour: "Why can't you throw the fourth son out of your house?"
Father: "He is the only one earning money. The rest are unemployed."

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Half way through my night shift this morning I wasn’t feeling too well so I headed home. I opened the door and headed up to bed, being careful not to tread the stairs too hard as I didn’t want to wake my wife. I opened the bedroom door to find my wife and my best mate in bed together. I screamed “ What the bloody hell is going on here?” To which they both shouted “ Ha. April fool...got you”.
"Tell you what, that was a good one. I admit they had me there."

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I've noticed the strangest thing about men who hang out in bars a lot.
It seems they have only one of two reasons to be there.
They have no wife to go home to... or they do!

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Bought a second hand deep fat fryer today, got it home and found it's got a chip in it.

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I’m getting totally fed up with people whining about the price of things..
£1.25 for a tea
£1.75 for a coffee
£2.00 for a slice of cake
£2.50 for car parking
Any more complaints and I will stop inviting friends round to the house.

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