A few more

@rondetto Said

Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery.
Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

___

A man is waiting in line for a hit movie. Behind him are two women. The usher comes along and says that he has two seats together.
Seeing the problem, the usher says to the man. "Let them go first. You wouldn't want to separate a woman from her mother, would you?"
The man says, "No, sir. I did that once, and I've been sorry ever since."

___

Joe and Bill are out fishing and sipping beer while discussing football and cricket.
All of a sudden Joe says, "I think I'm gonna divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in over 6 months."
Bill sips his beer and says, "You better think it over, women like that are hard to find."

___

Paddy and Murph are staggering home from the pub together after last drinks, when they come across Sean and Seamus carrying a heavy bag between them.
"Watcha got there?" asks Murph.
"Four salmon," states Sean and went on to explain how Seamus holds him by the ankles over the side of the bridge and when a salmon swims by he grabs it, yells out and Seamus pulls him up clutching a big fish.
Paddy and Murph decide on salmon for supper and soon arrive at the nearest bridge.
Murph dangles Paddy over the side and after an agonizing five minutes of struggle Paddy cries out to pull him up.
"Where's the fish?" asks Murph, gasping for breath.
"bugger the fish, there was a train comin!"